Editor’s note: I have blocked President Obama on Twitter.
Dad, I wasn’t going to write a blog for your birthday today.
Not because I don’t love and miss you – THAT goes without saying – but because I know at some point you wish I could get past all that I have been through.
Problem is dad, while you are enjoying eternal life in heaven, I am still on this hell on earth.
But it’s not really a hell. I’ve continued to have great purpose, even after you have died, dad. This week, I judiciously put fingers to keyboard and hammered out some blogs that have the Quad-Cities reeling.
And by God, they apparently have caught the attention of President Obama, too. Obama began to follow me on Twitter yesterday.
As of this morning, he still was following me.
And what do you think of that?
‘Don’t mess with my black president’
Dad, I think he’s following me because of you.
I think he knows it’s your birthday.
I think he knows I’m telling the truth about the corrupt Rock Island County Democrats.
And I think he’s helping me out of respect for you, one of his most devoted voters of all time.
President Obama may not know that some called you a racist. You’re not racist. You got upset with some people and used some bad language now and then.
But your endearing support for President Obama has been firm from the git-go.
Remember how we used to argue? I wanted Hillary.
And yet, in the end, I ended up voting for Donald Trump.
Do you remember watching CSPAN and cussing legislators who would occasionally criticize the president?
“Don’t mess with my black president!” you used to angrily say.
Facebook Marketplace all I have right now for income
Dad, I have been so blackballed for telling the truth that I’m having trouble finding work. This, after having a very solid 2016.
Honestly, I don’t think I’ll owe any taxes at all this year. Between the quarterly tax payments I did make, and being unemployed or underemployed since June, and various work trips the first half of the year and additional big write-offs, like a new MacBook Pro, my taxable income is going to be almost zero.
Now, remember what you used to say to me about marijuana?
“Yeah, it helps ya, there’s no doubt about that. But when you don’t have it you’re NO GOOD!”
Dad, can you believe that I legally smoke marijuana now in my home? We know I had PTSD long before you ever got sick. What happened to me after that…how am I even alive? You yourself used to ask me that all the time.
I know you thought I was going to die a few times. I know you told me not to share what I have shared.
But dad, when you have ink running through your veins, you really don’t care what happens to you for reporting the truth.
Anyhow, I’ve been selling things on Facebook to pay for my medical cannabis, my toiletries, and even to make a couple of student loan payments.
Now though, my student loan payment is $0 because my income is $0. As you know, they have been current several years now.
At any rate, I’ve basically sold all I’m going to sell. Yesterday I was so disgusted, desperate for cannabis and triggered by all of this that I decided to put some political memorabilia on the marketplace. You’re going to love this.
Hillary placards won’t even sell two for $3
So, I decided to place my “Ready for Hillary” placards on the Marketplace.
Silly me, I tried to get $10 each for them. I can get a gram of premium medical cannabis for $20.
“PTSD Trigger” I put on the Marketplace ad. “Must go.”
I made a whole bunch of friends very quickly.
I’m not kidding.
But beyond the side-splitting laughs everyone shared on the Marketplace, I could not even sell those placards when I reduced them to $1.50 each.
What I did next is just awful.
I decided to spice up the deal with your Obama family portrait print, signed by Michelle Obama, that you got for making a donation to the President’s campaign.
Then I said to myself, out loud, “I can’t do this.” I voted for him both times myself after all, and here’s the deal-breaker where I’m going to lose all my new Republican friends on Twitter: I support Obamacare, or at least an improved version of it.
Dad, it wasn’t even hours later that President Obama began to follow me on Twitter.
And now that framed portrait of the Obamas is on the wall in my office, and it will stay there unless something horrible happens.
Not joking about Hillary being a PTSD trigger, and here’s why
When you still were alive and in Amber Ridge Memory Care, I went to see Hillary when she campaigned for Bruce Braley.
In fact, I was FIRST IN LINE. Quad-City Times political reporter Ed Tibbetts knows it’s true – I even was featured on Braley’s social media page.
But it wasn’t just me. It was a group of us Quad-City gay people.
Unfortunately, those people aren’t looking so hot right now.
One of them had a key to the house to take care of LuLu while I was supposed to be in Los Angeles. But I couldn’t go to Los Angeles after being thrown in the jail.
However, this woman, since she had a key, was able to feed LuLu while I was imprisoned and tortured on no charges at all for being an informant in a political corruption case.
She now says she knows something terrible happened to me in this house, but that she had nothing to do with it.
And that may be true.
Filth and corruption everywhere I look
Another gay person who was at the rally?
Well, she ran for public office. Her adopted son recently went to prison for armed robbery. Her dad was a bigwig at St. Ambrose University once upon a time. I have known this woman a long time and always kind of liked her. I’m not linking to any of the stories out of respect for her, because this woman also has been treated horribly by her fellow gays.
She has lived a painful life, too.
I want nothing to do with gay people in the Quad-Cities
I’m not even sure I’m gay anymore after what I have been through.
I’m serious. I think about women quite a lot, particularly when I have my medical cannabis.
Don’t ask. I have no idea.
Dad, the only person who can fix this mess for the corrupt Rock Island County Democrats is Barack Obama. Some may be speculating the former president began following me on Twitter to nail me.
I don’t think so.
I bet he’s encouraging one, if not several, local Dems to resign.
I love you dad. You know the Obamas love you, too.
I’m counting on it.
Until next time.
You can find me on Twitter @DavidHeitz