Coffee and cannabis are like cocaine and beer. So, four days ago, I gave up coffee

Photo courtesy Pixabay

My Keurig pooped out the other day.

And in a moment of disgust, I discarded it.


And decided I’m giving up coffee altogether too.

That was Thursday morning.

So, I’ve gone four days.

The pounding headaches finally have subsided. And overall, I feel WAY better with caffeine out of my life. Just as I have every time I have given it up, this being maybe the fourth or fifth time for me.

I told dispensary wellness consultant Devon at NTI in Milan the other day that cannabis and coffee go together like beer and cocaine.

He knew what I meant.

And I realized that my massive coffee consumption of late boiled down to simple addict behavior. Why would you medicate with cannabis to bring you down, only to start gulping down massive amounts of coffee to bring you back up?

I had begun to feel pretty fatigued in general. I realized the pushing and pulling was the result of wanting to feel the buzz of the coffee as much as the buzz of the cannabis.

Read more: Cannabis K-cups better than an Ativan drip for breakthrough anxiety

It’s insane behavior. It’s addict behavior. Coffee tastes divine, don’t get me wrong. That’s a big part of why I drink it. But I could always drink decaf.

For now, though, decaf would lead to caffeinated. Coffee addiction is not to be trifled with!

And neither is detox from coffee addiction. Check out this extremely well-done piece by Smithsonian Magazine.

Withdrawal for me the past few days has included some horrid headaches, but I have been pretty well stocked with medical cannabis, so I haven’t suffered that much. Without the medical cannabis, I would not even have tried to quit.

Economic impact of coffee addiction

The hard truth about the Keurig’s demise comes from the fact that I bastardized it.

Yes, you see, I folded paper towels into origami pouches, and loaded regular, ground coffee into the pouches. I then gently placed the pouches where the K-cups are supposed to go.

It worked fine for a while. But it hasn’t been working so hot for the past couple of weeks.

Then, the Keurig apparently self-destructed, as it stopped having the gumption to brew altogether on Thursday morning.

As any coffee lover will tell you…it’s an expensive habit! Coffee is not cheap. Especially those K-cups.

And let me tell you something: When you’re a medical cannabis patient, there is even less money for coffee.


Coffee detox tips

For me, detoxing from anything must include large amounts of Willy Wonka candy and Celestial Seasonings herbal tea.

I’m completely serious, It is how I’ve quit everything. Perhaps I should set up folding chairs in my basement and start preaching the gospel. Free Spree candy and chamomile tea. No judgment.

Read more: Why AA is paradise for those looking to exploit the vulnerable

It’s also important to keep moving when detoxing from something. Keep that blood flowing to the brain. Take lots of deep breaths when you feel frustrated.

Here’s what WebMD reported about caffeine withdrawal in 2004:

“A new study that analyzes some 170 years’ worth of research concludes that caffeine withdrawal is very real — producing enough physical symptoms and a disruption in daily life to classify it as a psychiatric disorder. Researchers are suggesting that caffeine withdrawal should be included in the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), considered the bible of mental disorders.”

I don’t think it ever did make the DSM. Someone correct me if I am wrong.

I’m on my last bowl of cannabis as I write this, and yet I’m less panicked than I normally would be because I feel much calmer in general.

And that’s because I’m off the caffeine.

Through the years, three different psychiatrists have told me to avoid coffee. One told me caffeine was the root of all my mental health problems, in fact.

At any rate, I feel good this morning to have kicked another demon. For the fourth or fifth time.

Until next time.

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